I’m officially 26 and at a friend’s house hoping for the same surprise I wish for every year. Y’know… that thing you get on your birthday that rocks your world. Blame it on the sappy romantic inside of me – or trashy novel if you will – but I’ve always wished that I’d have a girl by my side on this night of all nights. Not even to mess around per se, just to keep me company and wrap her arms around me affectionately.
See the couch I’m crashing on right now is probably just as comfortable as the bed of my female friend, but she refuses to share her space tonight. And I respect that, especially with the talk we had about her “boyfriend” of six months who would surely get upset if he heard about us cuddling. Moreover, there’s a specific caliber of friend you can pull off platonic snuggling with and frankly I compromised that when I started dating Lettie. Now I have no one again, and my feelings grow for my other best friend whose a girl I dated.
Perhaps part of me has always felt the need to be completed by a girl because my friends had such an easy time dating while I always quickly got dumped. It seemed like I was never attractive or witty enough to capture the attention of girls I had these huge crushes on, like Kristina Thompson, Ariel Grossuesch, Karen Carmichael, and pretty much every Katie I’ve ever met. There truly is something about girls with “K” names that mystifies me and everybody else who attempts to keep track of the girls I date. Even now, with Kristine, it seems I can’t be satisfied…
What’s hard is that I’m trying to get my shit together before I put myself out there again. I’ve spent countless nights partying this past year and making new friend’s while meeting new girls. Yet in the end I always want every girl to have a crush on me too, and see what could happen. But this sort of thing doesn’t exist in the real world, despite how much I read about it or romanticize the idea. Besides, with marriage and kids on the horizon, I really am getting too old for this shit.